


My Rider By My Side

by BlackRoseShiori



Series: Supernatural Oneshots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Destiel Becoming Canon On 5 November 2020 (Supernatural), Destiel December 2020 (Supernatural), Emotional Constipation, Episode Fix-it, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Dean Winchester, Quote: Y yo a ti Cas | Me too (Supernatural), Saileen is only briefly mentioned, There are some quotes from 15x19 and 15x20 that won't be exact because I refuse to watch them again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27728750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackRoseShiori/pseuds/BlackRoseShiori
Summary: Canon divergence of 15x18 up through 15x20. Just adding another fix-it fic to the pile! There are missing scenes, "Y yo a ti," and incorrect quotes from the episodes I refuse to watch again!There are so many feelings involved. Both mine and theirs.Title is from Travelling Riverside Blues by Led Zeppelin.Rating is mostly just for f-bombs.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: Supernatural Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084058
Kudos: 38





	My Rider By My Side

**Author's Note:**

> I never would have thought that, in the Year of Our Lord Jack Kline 2020, I would be writing a Supernatural fic. If you had said that to me last year, I would have thought you were nuts. I didn't even ship this until a month ago! (I'm worthless with subtext, so I like when things get spelled out for me.)
> 
> Regardless, Dean has always been mah boy, and then that bollocks of a finale happened! I couldn't let that stand. He deserves so much better.
> 
> It's like the show had to break me down completely so I could rise from the ashes like a tiny, goth phoenix. 
> 
> So here I am. You're welcome.

They say that the world will end in either fire or ice.

But, from Dean's perspective, it ends in neither.

It ends in a vacuum.

There is no sound in the Empty. There is just the whooshing of air from a door that he would have given anything to slam closed. If the black goo winding its way around Cas made any sound, Dean couldn't hear it. His focus, laser sharp and ringing warnings in his head, was on Cas' face.

Castiel, with his river eyes; just as blue and just as deep.

Cas, his angel. His best friend. His family. The family he chose to love, and who he always knew loved him back.

Actually _talking about it_ was new to him, and Dean had only seconds to react before the Empty started to pull Cas away from him forever. 

From his position on the floor, where he'd landed after Cas pushed him away to protect him (again) Dean could think of only one thing to say:

"Me too, Cas!" he yelled over the maelstrom of silence.

And then it was over. Cas was gone, back into the void, and probably back to sleep forever, unless the Empty decided to be petty and hurt him. The thought made Dean want to vomit.

Frozen, sitting on the cold concrete floor with his back against an equally cold brick wall, Dean started shaking. He wasn't shaking due to the physical cold of the dungeon slipping through the barrier of his jacket and into his bones. No, this was a chill that seeped into his very soul.

He put his head in his hands as the cold touch of loss, worse than anything Billie could have done to him, overcame him.

Dean had been traumatized in his life more times than he could possibly say, but as he sat on the floor and cried, he had the errant thought that this was probably going to be the thing that finally killed him.

***

Dean had to push it down so far that it choked him. The pounding of his heart didn't matter. The bile trying to bubble up in his throat didn't matter. The only thing that he could allow to matter was any plan at all that would help them defeat Chuck.

"We need him to get rid of Michael, and then we need to do whatever it takes to get Jack close to him," Sam whispered under the cover of darkness, deep down in the warded dungeon where Cas had died.

"He should be distracted enough by Michael," Jack said, his uncertainty turning the statement into more of a question. 

"We can't rely on that," Dean said, voice still rough from crying. "We need to have a Plan B and a Plan C."

Sam's expression melted into the soft look with the slightly furrowed brow that meant he was about to try and be the reasonable brother. "Dean, Plan B is death. There is no Plan C."

Under normal circumstances, Dean would have bristled at that. But after losing Cas and literally everyone else, he couldn't find it in his heart to care that they were finally out of options.

"Fair enough," he agreed.

Sam and Jack looked at each other for a split second, eyes wide, then looked at Dean like he'd just grown another head.

"What?" Dean asked, fidgeting a bit under their stares.

"It's just...you agreed with Sam really quickly," Jack said, guileless as ever.

Dean squared his shoulders and replied a bit defensively, "Well, maybe I'm just being more optimistic than usual."

Sam shot him a look that clearly said that he knew Dean was full of shit (which he was) but was choosing not to press the issue. 

There would be time to work through their shit later, hopefully. 

And if they couldn't beat Chuck, nothing would matter anymore anyway.

***

They'd done it. They'd played one last Hail Mary and defeated Chuck for good.

Dean would have loved to kick the shit out of the new mortal version, but they'd all agreed to leave him where he was and make him figure it out.

They drove back to town together; Winchester, Winchester, and Kline. Dean chuckled to himself, thinking that they sounded like some kind of law firm, except badass.

Jack brought everyone back, including the dog. Dean allowed himself a moment of joy upon seeing his new friend, Miracle. 

"Good boy, Miracle!" Dean cooed, crouching down to scratch the dog behind his ears.

Sam smiled at the scene, then turned around and started walking back to the Impala with Dean and Miracle.

Jack made no move to follow.

"Come on, Jack!" Dean called over his shoulder. "When we get back to the bunker, we can celebrate! We'll get you a nice recliner and a big screen TV for your room..."

A slow, sad smile started to bloom across Jack's face.

"I'm not going home, Dean," he said, gently.

And that was how Sam and Dean lost their kid.

***

Dean had experienced some very traumatic pain in his life, but being stabbed in the back by a broken piece of rebar was pretty high up on the list. If he had to guess, it had probably punctured a lung.

Dean could tell that, at first, Sam couldn't see anything wrong. Which was frustrating as hell because it hurt like a motherfucker, and Dean was sure he must have at least _looked_ like someone who had just been impaled, and not in the fun way.

"Sam," Dean said, trying to take a full breath. "Sam. There's something in my back."

"What?" Sam said in a huff, looking a bit incredulous.

"There's something in my back," Dean repeated. 

Sam walked over, and Dean could tell when his brother finally realized that something was seriously wrong.

Reaching behind Dean, Sam pulled back a hand covered in blood.

"Sammy," Dean gasped. "It feels like this thing is the only thing holding me together."

"Okay, okay," Sam said, taking a step back. "We can fix this. Just stay with me and I'll call 911, and then grab the first aid kit, and then pray to Jack. Or maybe I should pray to Jack first..."

"Sam," Dean interrupted, "Forget it. It's too late. Just let me go."

Sam shook his head, eyes unfocused. "It's never too late..."

Just as Dean opened his mouth to argue, the overhead lights started to rattle and pop. Fuses and generators blew. The entire barn shook like it was about to come down around them.

The barn doors flew open, and a very familiar silhouette appeared. 

It was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen.

Cas didn't stroll in calmly, like the first time they met. This time, there was quite a bit more urgency in his step.

Once he was within reach, the angel touched Dean's face, said something under his breath, and then Dean wasn't in pain anymore.

"Sam," Cas said over his shoulder, "Help me pull him off. I've taken away his pain so we can move him, but I'd rather not try to heal him until he's off that piece of metal."

Dean was possibly a bit delirious from blood loss, so it really wasn't his fault when he said, "Cas, I love your voice. Never thought I'd hear it again. You're hot."

Sam seemed to choke on his own spit, and Cas' mouth quirked up a bit on one side. 

"Thank you, Dean," was all he said as he took Dean's right arm, and Sam took his left, and they gently pulled him away from the rebar.

They slowly lowered him to the ground, and carefully pushed him onto his right side. 

Dean felt Cas' warm hand on his left cheek, and then he could suddenly breathe again. He took a shallow breath, then a more full one, and rolled himself onto his back.

"Wow," Dean said, staring up at the barn's dilapidated ceiling. "That sucked."

"I can imagine," Cas said, offering a hand. Dean reached up and let Cas haul him to his feet.

Sam immediately threw his arms around his brother, crushing him to his chest. Dean hugged back just as fiercely.

"I thought I'd really lost you there," Sam said, pulling back.

"You almost did," Dean said. "I can't even tell you how much that hurt, man. And I can't believe I almost bit it taking out a vampire nest. This was basically a milk run!"

Taking another deep, steadying breath, Dean finally turned to Castiel.

"Cas," he breathed out like the prayer it was. "I thought you were dead."

Cas gave a small shrug and said, "I was. But there are certain benefits to your son being God."

Dean huffed out something between a laugh and a sob, and then gathering Cas into his arms.

They stood there for a while, Dean's fists full of trenchcoat, and they didn't even notice when Sam quietly left.

Reluctantly pulling away just far enough to look into Cas' eyes, Dean said, "Did you hear what I said, before The Empty took you?"

Cas nodded. "I did. It was the last thing I heard. And I want you to know that it would have been enough. I don't expect anything from you now that I'm back. Whatever you want to give is enough."

"Good," Dean said. "Because I want to give everything."

And then he pulled Cas by his tie, closing the inch or so gap between them, and their lips finally met.

Kissing Cas didn't disappoint. Dean had been thinking about it for at least a decade, but it was better than he ever could have imagined. Cas' lips were soft, and when he let out a small moan, Dean seized the opportunity to flick his tongue against the angel's. Somewhere, another innocent lightbulb exploded. With a gentle nudge, Dean tilted Cas' head slightly so he could deepen the kiss, and Cas relaxed his shoulders and wrapped both arms around Dean's waist, pulling him even closer. Dean reached up and wound his arms around Cas' neck.

Eventually, his very human and now fully functional lungs required air, so Dean had to reluctantly pull away.

Dean would never admit that he giggled, because he wasn't a twelve-year-old girl, but he didn't _not_ giggle at Cas' fuckstruck expression.

With his arms resting on Cas' shoulders, and their foreheads touching, Dean murmured, "I'm glad you were my gay thing."

Cas barked a laugh like it had been punched out of him, and Dean couldn't resist kissing him again.

***

At some point, Sam had walked back into the barn, cleared his throat loudly, and announced that he'd like to hug his friend and then head home sometime this century. He even said Cas could ride shotgun. Dean was impressed, and made a mental note to give his brother some extra space the next time Eileen was visiting the bunker. As much as he enjoyed being a little shit and cockblocking Sam, he'd be cool from now on. Well, maybe not from now on. Maybe just for a week.

Once they were back home and safely inside the bunker, Sam turned to the new happy couple and said, "This has been...interesting. I'm super happy for you guys, but I'm exhausted, so I'm going to bed. Just...try not to blow out all of the lights in the bunker."

While Dean sputtered, Cas said, "We'll try. Goodnight, Sam."

Once Sam was out of hearing range, Dean and Castiel sat down at the table in the library, their chairs pulled as close together as they could manage, and Dean finally voiced something that had been bothering him.

"So, you're an angel again."

Cas nodded. "Yes, Jack wanted my help redesigning heaven to be what it always should have been - a place of peace when life is done, but with no walls. Everyone can be reunited, everyone can find each other. That's why I didn't come back to Earth sooner. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Dean said, though he wouldn't take his eyes off the table. "You've been busy, I get it. It's just...now we can't grow old together."

It took a second for Dean to realize what he'd just said, and a flush turned the skin under his freckles pink.

"I mean...if you even cared to be with me that long. Shit, we haven't even talked about the love confessions or the kissing, and I'm acting like we're getting married."

Cas gave him a patient smile and said, "All I want is for you to live a long and happy life. I'll stay by your side for as long as you'll allow it. And if you want to get married, I'm not opposed to that." 

Dean nodded, feeling heat rise all the way up to his ears. He knew if he opened his mouth he might start crying, and that wasn't cool. 

When he'd regained some of his composure, Dean continued, "I'll never stop wanting you by my side, Cas. But what about when I get old and incontinent and can't get it up anymore?"

Castiel huffed a laugh at that and said, "I'll love you just the same."

Dean leaned forward to embrace Cas, resting his chin on the angel's shoulder.

That's when he saw Jack.

"Hello," Jack said, raising his hand in a shy wave, as if he wasn't actually the most powerful cosmic being in existence..

Cas' face lit up, and he turned with a huge smile on his face to greet his son.

"Jack! What are you doing on Earth?"

"I needed to tell Dean something important, and since I could sense his unease about you being an angel again, I thought now would be a good time."

Dean frowned slightly and said, "Hang on, I'm not... _uneased_. I'm thrilled that Cas has his mojo back."

"The aging thing," Jack clarified.

"What about it?" Cas asked.

"Well, we both want Sam and Dean to live happy lives here on Earth. It'll be easier for Sam, because he's stopped hunting before, and he has a human lover. Dean, on the other hand...it's just a bit more complicated."

Dean was unable to completely stamp down the fear rising in his chest. Living to middle-age (barely) always waiting for the other shoe to drop will do that to a person. 

"Then what do you suggest?" Castiel asked Jack.

Turning to face Dean, with a hundred-watt smile on his face, Jack said, "Dean Winchester, when your time on Earth is over, will you be one of my archangels?"

Dean's jaw dropped. "Will I be your what now?"

"I just thought it would be fitting to have you both as archangels, joining the other appointees I saved from the Empty."

Cas turned back to Dean and said, "Yes, Jack didn't just leave the Empty with me. He also bargained for Gabriel, Balthazar, Gadreel, and Anna."

"Ew, Gadreel?" Dean said with a grimace. "And Anna? Nice girl, er, angel. But I hope that won't be weird."

Cas looked a bit haughty as he said, "Jealousy is beneath me. It's not about who had you first, it's who has you now."

If you'd asked Dean just a few seconds ago if he had a possessiveness kink, he would have laughed and said hell no. Now? He swallowed thickly and tried to think about baseball, because the thought of Cas _having_ him was hot as fuck.

He'd file that away for later.

If Jack knew what they were referring to, he didn't let on and continued with his pitch. 

"I don't exactly need seven archangels since that was something Chuck made up on a whim, but I wanted to include those who meant well in life and deserved better than they got. I'll ask Sam closer to his time. As for you, Dean, I need someone who will be completely honest with me, even if it's hard. Castiel is too protective, and the others don't really know me yet."

Dean snorted a laugh. "Honest? Is that what we're calling it now?"

Jack's expression became more mischievous as he said, "You're irreverent and kind of an asshole sometimes. Is that better?"

"Sometimes?" Cas repeated, feigning confusion.

Dean pretended to glare at them both. "I almost die and now Cas has jokes. Just put me back on the rebar, I'll wait."

Cas gasped. "I would never do that, and I'd kill anyone who tried!"

"And there he is," Dean said with exasperated fondness.

"So what do you say, Dean?" Jack asked, big blue eyes wide with hope.

After a beat of silence, Dean said, "So when I croak, I go up to Heaven 4.0 and just help you with Heaven Business? That's it?" 

"That's it," Jack confirmed. "During any down time, you'll have free reign to visit your loved ones, spend time at whatever home you desire, and enjoy your afterlife in any way you see fit."

Dean was quiet again for a moment, because it sounded too good to be true. And he'd learned from repeated experience that if something sounded too good to be true, it probably was.

But Cas was back. And Jack, with his love of humanity, was in charge. 

With the two of them involved, it couldn't possibly be bad.

Finally, Dean answered, "I accept."

Jack's smile literally glowed (must be a God thing) and Castiel's eyes were glassy with relief when he looked at Dean.

"Thank you," Jack said, and began to wave again as if to say goodbye.

"Wait!" Cas yelled, making Jack stop mid-wave.

Tilting his head in a move that made him look just like Castiel, Jack waited for the angel to continue.

"Jack, there is...something I want to ask of you. And I'm sorry, I know you don't wish to interfere with Earth, but it's important to me."

"What is it?" Jack asked, though Dean got the feeling he already knew.

"Can you make me human? Can you take my grace and let me grow old with Dean?"

Jack grinned at him and said, "Of course, if that's what you really want."

Cas nodded. "It is."

"Cas," Dean began, "you don't have to do this..."

"I know," Cas interrupted. "I want to. I want the normal, human life that we can have together."

Jack snapped his fingers and said, "I'll come collect you and give you back your grace when your time on Earth is done."

And then he was gone.

For the first time ever, goodbye didn't hurt.


End file.
